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我在加拿大糗事

sj
在 UNB 水族馆

精选回复

第一.
我最有意思就是...
我买东西只看图片不看字(总觉得不认识)
上次买了一个包装盒上有面包牛奶
偶以为是奶粉咯
偶觉得喝了以后
精神好了,睡眠稳定了
骨头也健壮了...
买回来喝了一个星期....感觉好极了..

结果....
有一天.....我哥们说.哇靠,你这么苦,喝面粉泡水?!
我一看英语..FLOUR!!!!!晕倒!!!!


第二.
还有一次,坐公车,停了,后门不开,我说.THE DOOR DOSEN;T OPEN!!
他们说STEP DOWN!!!我楞是听不懂
一个白人帅哥给我师范..楞是下了车,我才明白车门自动感应

第三.
在街上...走啊走,忽然发现一个白人帅哥
玩着滑板,..我很羞涩.
想和他练口语..不料.
他竟然主动走过来..
手里拿一个杯子
我心想,他一定是要推荐什么饮料..
就去看杯子...
他对我放了一小会电说:"ANY CHANGE,PLZ!"
撅倒!你穿NIKE还问我要钱呀,哥们我比你还穷啊..后来就知..人不可帽像..


第四
我喜欢RAP,很喜欢50 CENT.
他最喜欢说HOMIE HOMIE..
有一次一个老外问我是中国哪里的..
我想告诉他,我是毛泽东家乡的...
于是我说:"DO U KNOW MAOZEDONG?"
他竟然知道!!
后来我想.ROOMIE就是ROOMATE的简写..
那HOMIE一定是老乡的意思了..
我就说:"CHAIRMAN MAO IS MY HOMIE!"
老外笑翻..说...:"U MUST BE KIDDING!"
回去一问..HOMIE的意思原来是..兄弟..哥们..(还特定指那种黑社会罩着小弟的...)


第五.
在地铁站,我忽然想起50 CENT的RAP..
我就边走边唱
结果一黑哥们走过来
用杀人版的眼神看着我说.:"U SUCK MAN"
当时..糗得想死...然后在他..流利的..在我面前RAP了好大一段.

第六
在CHINA TOWN
这一辈子都难忘.
一个黑人老头子,跟了我和我朋友好长一段时间..
我走啊走,他还跟着
忽然好大一声:'WOWOW..CHINESE GIRLS ARE SO CUTE.."我刚刚想说谢谢.
他立马来一句:"LOOK AT THEIR BOOBS!!!FLAT!!"然后旁边老外都看我们的胸是不是象老黑所描述一样平..我K我实在还可以嘛!!

第七..
在地铁上,一个LCBO的酒瓶.倒在我脚边..
当时刚好我的笔记本也放在地上..
一个男孩说:"IS THAT URS?"
我以为他说的是笔记本..于是我说了一大断.(刚来的人都想练口语)
我就说:"我电脑是COMPAQ的.配置不错,奔4...."最后问他是什么电脑..
他说:'其实我是说你脚下倒的那瓶酒是不是你的.如果是的话,我就帮你扶起来.."
全地铁人民都看着偶...
那叫一个羞涩哇..

第八
这回糗的不是我..
在地铁上,一个印度老爷爷
想当TORONTO市长,就一直在给我说他的计划
说他以前是老师
说我有疑问可以找他 他免费教我英语
说了很多很多
最后要我选他..
偶说..偶是留学生...偶没有选举权.....

他...说THANKS ALL THE SAME..走了.心里一定在骂f…k..浪费我那么多宝贵时间...

第九
去一元店想买灯泡，走了一圈没看到，就去问阿三售货员，结果把灯泡说成bomb，吓的他们差的报警，结果发现把灯泡说成炸弹了。

暂时就想起这么多,以后再想起来再继续帖...

又想起来一件事了...
那是刚刚来加拿大坐在加航上的时候..
空姐问我:"BEEF OR..."
那个单词我没听懂,我想,BEEF在国内天天吃..
我就吃那个没听懂的吧,还可以顺便学个单词..
结果我就说THE SECOND ONE..
一打开!!!
K!!!一盆稀饭里面..[飘着几片磨姑..我到温哥华的时候已经快饿出人命来了...
第6个应该不是"FLAT" 如果前面表扬的话 应该是PHAT 发音很像
是性感 和 很好 很绚的意思
第5个 那不是你丢人 本来咱们就是汉语为母语的 他在你面前应该是FREESTYLE
你下次要再碰见他 叫他和JIN DA MC(简称JIN)说去 是咱们中国的 在BET FREESTYLE FRIDAY里面拿了7周冠军
Artist : JIN

Title : Learn Chinese

Album : N/A

Genre : Hip Hop



Yeah, I'm Chinese and what?
Yeah, you know who this is, Jin
Let me tell you this
The days of the pork fried rice and the chicken wings
coming to your house five years is over

[Chorus]
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese

Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna wanna be Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps go off, ya'll gon' speak Chinese

[Jin]
Go fuck with your head man
I know a bunch of crypts that love Redman
Blood book in New York man things done change
Stop, the chinks be all over the game
This ain't Bruce Lee, I watch too much TV
This is a game of death when I aim for your chest
Too much sex got me seeing slow motion
Eyes barely open with a roach roasting'
And your girl, she loves the gin ocean
Rub it on her body like body shop lotion
What's the commotion, you never seen me?
The original chinky eye emcee
You don't want to step to the army
And Double-R rank refugee
And the battle of the gun is gonna make you speak
another language
And amigo I ain't talking about Spanish

[Chorus]

[Jin]
This one goes out to those that order four chicken wings
And pork fried rice and throw dice
In the hood, you think this is all good?
Till the cowboys roam through like Clint Eastwood
I wish you would come to Chinatown
Get lost in town, end up in the lost in found
Eyewitnesses, you must be crazy
We don't speak English, we speak Chinese
And the only po-po we know is the pigs on the hood out in the
window
Every time they harass me, I wanna explode
We should ride the train for free, we built the railroads
I ain't ya 50 Cent, I ain't ya Enimem
I ain't ya Jigga Man, I'm a chinaman
Ginseng in the palm of my hand
She looks suprirsed in the palm of my hands
You know what's next? Safe sex
I'll be damned if I sleep in the flesh with the insect

[Hook]

(Woman singing)
(Jin speaking Chinese: This one sounds good.
Let's give her a call on the phone.)
Mr. Jin, you are the sexist man
Mr. Jin, I love the way you do your things
(Jin speaking Chinese: Really?)
Mr. Jin, you are the sexist man
Mr. Jin, I love the way you do your things

[Jin]
The moral of the story is
Don't judge a book by its cover
I know you think he's fam, but he's really undercover
I saw his name on the affidavit
It was written in Chinese and this is what he said:
(Jin Speaking Chinese: The chinese restaurant is closing soon)
Bring about some local hooligans and thugs so
Catch them at midnight when they close the shop up
Reading the Ten Commandments, cooking up heckka
Movie small posters are all over the walls
If they think you'd save me the bullet, it's so over ya'll
Me, I'm just Jin just doing my thang
Just doing my thang, just doing my thang
Why is there beef everywhere I go?
I'm drunk skewing, can't we all get along
My ladies with the thongs, my thugs with the firearms

Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Wyclef: all the ghetto)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Wyclef: all the suburb)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese.
(Wyclef: Refugees)

Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Jin speaking Chinese: di lo)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Jin speaking Chinese: Hurry,
get out of here)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese

(Woman singing)

[Hook]

[Wyclef]
The game will never be the same (Jin speaking Chinese:
I already played the game)
Double-R refugees (Jin speaking Chinese: Let's go home)
First Chinese rapper
First page rapper
Refugees
(Jin speaking Chinese: Chinatown)
(Jin speaking Chinese: I already played the game)
(Jin speaking Chinese: That's it)
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by zzzii [/i]
[B]晕~~这个不是原创吧? 是我一个朋友写在苹果上的...... [/B][/QUOTE]


啊？？那应该都不是楼主的故事了？
那当我没说过
不过说来蛋糕粉冲出来真的很像牛奶的说...今天室友做蛋糕我算是见识了...
我前几天做了更糗的事呢!我和同学去吃饭,当时要去洗手,就没有注意卫生间是男生的还是女生的
只看两个男同学都去那里洗手,我就也跟着去了.还好里面有两个门......
不看楼主的名字，我还以为是我认识的一个人写的那，
她范过好多同样的错误。
哈哈，第二个糗的事我也干过，当时到站了，等司机开门，结果等了半天，车都要开了，急死我了，就冲到最底下一个阶梯，门就自己开了，还吓了我一跳~~~~~
拜托，尊重一下别人的劳动好不好？转贴也要表明一下啊

[URL=自己看看]http://www.powerapple.com/forum2/modules.php?op=modload&name=Forum&file=viewtopic&topic=501302&forum=15[/URL]
  • 楼主
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by 雪 [/i]
[B]拜托，尊重一下别人的劳动好不好？转贴也要表明一下啊

[URL=自己看看]http://www.powerapple.com/forum2/modules.php?op=modload&name=Forum&file=viewtopic&topic=501302&forum=15[/URL] [/B][/QUOTE]
我没有说是原创，而且最后一条是我自己加进去的。ok？・・
放眼看过去，基本这里都是转贴好不好。大家也都习惯省去加“转帖”那两个字。除非你自己原创。
[COLOR=deeppink]不管是什么，看过了，笑过了。本来就是水版嘛，何必那么认真呢。。。有很多事是不能太认真的。。[/COLOR]

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